i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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