thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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