I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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