Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
