this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
