Your tits are I can't wait for
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
