I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
