Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
