no, he came in my armpit
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
