I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
