That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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