mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
