We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
