What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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