I skipped work to stalk him.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
