Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
