Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
