The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
