Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
