Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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