you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
