Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
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