Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
