I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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