I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I wear drunk well.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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