Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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