I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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