Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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