I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
