Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
