question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
