I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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