Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
