you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Randomize
