wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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