How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
