You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
