epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
