Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
