What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
