tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
