my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
