It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
