you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
