i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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