I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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