no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
