I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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