am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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