Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
