it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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