hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
