I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
