I'm going to jail i love you
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
