How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
